My Funny Valentine...

Morning came... there was a knock on the hotel door... it was the moment I had hoped for, yearned for,  prayed for... five years had passed since Jesus placed my daughter Isabella in my heart... today He would place her in my arms.  
I opened the door to see my little Pearl cowering behind my guide's leg.  She hid her little face behind him.  My heart over flowed with joy at knowing my beloved child was orphaned no more... yet it broke seeing her in such torment.  The orphanage workers had driven her into the city, given her to a strange a man and now he was giving her to me... She was terrified and  it was killing me.... He had me sign papers, told me it must be done quickly and he was gone. 
My daughter was beyond distraught.... her whole world had just been ripped away and all I could do was tell her softly over and over in Mandarin that I loved her and I was her mama, as I prayed that Jesus would comfort her and let her know she was ok.... she was safe.... and oh, how she was loved... she was home.....  after what seemed forever, her wailing stopped... she had cried herself asleep in my arms...

It's so hard to believe that was one year ago today... I look back and am in awe of our amazing, wonderful, oh, so loving and gracious God who has brought so much healing to my daughter.  Thank You Jesus for answering our prayers.... She knows the love of her family and she loves us... she has joy and laughter.  She shines bright with her sweetness, her humor, her funny little ways... Some days my Isabella still struggles with hurts from the past.... the first word out of her mouth every morning is, "Eat?".... 365 days later she still is not secure in knowing that she will not go hungry.... She still wakes up many morning crying.... not trusting that her mama is there.... when she is told no, or gets into trouble for something she often will run to her room and throw herself on her bed sobbing.... her little heart needs to be reassured that she is loved and that this will not, could not ever change.... so I follow her, pick her up in my arms and hold her close.... she wraps her arms around my neck and holds on as she gives me a hug like only my Izzy can do.  So many uncertainties wrestle in her mind, trying to steal her security, her ability to rest in knowing that she is safe, home with her mommy and daddy, her big brother and sister.... yet, she continues to heal, and the behaviors that are reflections of a little one who has been broken are fewer and farther between and oh, how we thank our God for this peace He is bringing to our daughter...

Each of our children's "Gotcha" Day is always such a happy, joyous occasion in our family.... but for our Isabella, my mind can't help but to remember how frightened she was at first.  I am thankful that after only a few hours she held on tightly to me and called me mama.  There are no words to convey the depths of gratitude I have for the Lord giving me the gift of my Isabella Faith.... she was most certainly my journey of faith... just as Jesus told me she would be.  I think of all the tears I cried waiting for her, wondering if I had truly understood God's intentions, that she was out there somewhere and that He would bring her home.... all of this pales in comparison to the joy she brings our family... she can make us laugh like no other... she is smart and funny, thoughtful, caring, and sassy!  She is a little entertainer and an adventure baby!  She is strong, has moxy and is one of the most fragile, tender hearted children I know.  One moment she is shy and the next she is the belle of the ball.... She is my little song bird that loves to dance and sing.  She twirls around with her arms held out as she proclaims to the world with glee, "Me Ba-er-ina..." "Me Princess!" Our Isabella Faith loves big!!!  And when you are loved by her, your life, your world, you will never be the same... She touches deep...
Thank You Jesus for my Isabella Faith...... I am blessed among the blessed....

Happy Gotcha Day my funny little Valentine... Oh, how mama loves you...