Bloom...

Each of our three children have come home to us having suffered  trauma.  They each had to and in some ways, still are battling and overcoming the affects of being orphaned and living in an institution.
This post has been on my heart for some time now... As a mama whose heart has broken numerous times  as I see my child suffer from the terrors, neglect, and abuse that has haunted them... I wanted to share this in hopes that it will encourage someone who perhaps is traveling a similar path as our family has.  I understand what it feels like to have moments when you are overwhelmed because your precious child is in an out of control rage... You feel helpless.  You don't know how to help them, how to make it better for them.  Sometimes you may even be angry over the "episode" because you feel like nothing you say or do is getting through to them, and their defiance over something was what escalated into this out of control, raging child situation.  Your children may come home with out the ability to regulate their emotions in anyway... the simplest thing can cause their little hearts and minds to soar, over the top happy... or can send them plummeting into the depths of despair, ripping away every ounce of security you have been working so hard to help them feel.  You may ask them to do something that is a very simple task, like please put away your shoes.  Only to have it turn into a battle of the wills because something triggers in their little mind that to them it becomes a matter of life and death, having their will be the only thing they have ever been able to have control of  thus far in their lives.  After a time, we parents come to recognize certain triggers and are able to run interference to ward off a melt down.  Other times it hits so quickly, we don't even know what happened.  It takes a toll on your child, their brothers and sisters, and on you and your spouse.  You may find yourself afraid, thinking to yourself, "If I can't control their behavior when they are 5, how I am going to help keep them safe when they are a teenager?!!!"  In that moment you fear for your child, thinking emotional healing may not come.  You become tired... oh, so tired.... and it feels like nothing is improving...  But after things settle down again... you spend some quiet time with the Lord, and you are able to look at things objectively.  You begin to see that the melt downs don't come quite as often as when your little one first came home... You realize that the rages are not quite as severe as they used to be.  You realize your child makes eye contact with you more and more.... you are able to go into another room without them thinking you are deserting them... the list goes on and on.... and you feel God giving you hope that your child will overcome the trauma that threatens to consume them at times.  You love them, you nurture them, you prove you are there for them, over and over and over... until one day it happens.... they bloom.... you look at your child that you love more than words can say and you realize that Jesus has healed most of those broken places.  He has shed light and love into those dark places that haunted your little one.  The melt downs hardly come any more, if at all.  They have settled down, settled in... they have security.  They feel safe.  They know that their family is forever... and it is beautiful...
If you and your child are battling the demons of the past... keep your eyes fixed on Jesus.  Press in to Him and press on.  He has you.  He has your child.  He has a plan and it is good!  One day your child will bloom.
God's healing, and God bless the children...

(I also would like to share that Holding Therapy, (it must be done correctly) helped two of our children with the healing process.  It is something that can be researched, talk with other families who have done it... and know that each child is different.)